If I were going to get a tattoo I think that this would be it: an awkward little arrow and the words “be brave” scrawled above it. I’ve gone back and forth more than a few times on the idea of getting a tattoo and for years I thought that the one that I wanted most was a physics equation for the change in potential energy. I do love that and I would probably get it if ever I got ink on skin, but as I get older the thing I need most reminded of regularly is simple: to be brave. What is it that is said about arrows? That they are the only things that succeed by being held back and then let go? It’s a concept that is lingering in my mind as of late.
The move is more or less over. All of my worldly possessions have been transferred from the old apartment to the new one. I have not managed to unpack everything yet, but even with all the boxes piled everywhere there is so much more space. My bedroom is a thing of wonder. My new office is an incredible luxury. The walls are all white and blank and ready to be decorated or covered in things. My idea whiteboard is ready to hang once I resolve where precisely I am going to put it. Things are starting to feel so much more grown up and with that there is a great deal of excitement. But I am also full of fear. Now there are no excuses for not writing, not getting up early, not doing the things that I need to do to enhance my life and make for myself the future I desire. No clutter, no cramped spaces, nothing to keep me from just doing it except fear.
That’s why I need to just be brave.
It’s a holiday weekend here, though I work parts of it. I have mornings off, generally, so I am going to try to use that over the next couple of days to settle myself into a routine. I’ve re-joined a gym. I have some writing ideas. I have some makeup ideas. With a few mornings off I have the time to work and plan and, most of all, to be brave.
Here’s to doing it.