Every year I forget what the holiday season is like when you work in retail. I forget about the thick, busy throngs of people rushing around the store aisles and cramming their cars into any available place that might be a parking space. My mind erases each year the image of the man, usually a husband or a father, standing with wide eyes and a lost expression in front of me as he comes to buy some product the woman in his life loves, but that he doesn’t understand. I easily move on from the expression of horror when he realizes that, yes, that lipstick did just cost you twenty-five dollars. I forget how nice people can be, and how intolerably picky when it comes to their holiday purchases.
I also forget just how slammed I am during the holiday time of year. The body doesn’t remember that kind of pain and exhaustion, though my mind panics a bit at what it perceives as thriving, throbbing proof of how bad my time management skills are. Starting a new job in the middle of the craziest time of year was beyond overwhelming. I came home most nights tired and crabby and largely drained to the point of not being able to function. My left foot still hates everything. My writing and creative life have pretty much gone out the window.
But somewhere in all of that I’ve had a birthday. I’ve done some holiday shopping. I went back to the South to spend Christmas with my family. I’ve been on the receiving end of some off-hand comments that have sent me off on a perspective shift. I’m embracing the idea of no longer caring what people think of me and providing only one option: like me or don’t. Somewhere in all of that 2014 gave way to 2015. The calendar flipped and things renewed. It’s a deeply good time of year.
2015, I have decided, is the year of making it all happen. There are a lot of creative and personal rabbit holes I have delayed from going down that I think this is the year to explore them. I’m not much for resolutions, but there is something terribly hopeful about a year’s worth of clean calendar. That, and a delightful itchy twitch to fill it all up not with want-to’s and might-try’s, but with have-done’s. Some things I will do in 2015:
- Cosplay at Planet Comicon in March
- Start a YouTube channel
- Build proper makeup storage
- Read 30 books
There’s more, of course, but that’s a start. I can’t wait to see how this year works out.