Life

Where have you been all my life?

Tomorrow I officially enter my second trimester. That’s pretty exciting, though I’m not quite sure what to expect. I’m fairly certain the ohcrapIdon’tthinkIcandothis anxiety is going to get any better, though I am trying to accept that being one of forty million Americans with anxiety means that being anxious and pregnant is normal. I’ve read the hormonal side effects and the nausea gets better and I am definitely looking forward to that. This past week I’ve been hit with some massive “night nausea” I am in no hurry to experience again. It’s kind of funny; for all we as human beings know about pregnancy it is ultimately very uncharted water once you find yourself in it.

I will just keep reminding myself that I’m growing a human and that might be a superpower.

What’s not a superpower? Back pain. You see, I love bed. Oh how I love bed. I’m a terrible sleeper and always have been, but I have always loved bed. One of my favorite things to do is to tuck myself into a next of pillows, bundle myself into a blanket, burrito-style, and just be in my bed. Up until a few years ago I found this to be the most relaxing thing in the world. Then, I injured my back. A few slipped discs, some arthritis, and a pretty crappy mattress later, my nest of pillows and happiness was something I could only handle for a few hours at a clip before searing pain took over my lower back, forcing me awake. I’ve learned to cope with it (more pillows, stretching, learning to not loathe being awake at four in the morning, sleeping upright on the couch,) but now that I’m pregnant, my body has been giving the middle finger to my coping mechanisms. I’m not even really showing at this point, but lying on my stomach is rapidly becoming impossible. I’d read online that special body pillows for pregnant women often help improve sleep so I figured why not? Off to buybuy Baby I went.

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Image credit: buy buy Baby. THIS PILLOW IS LIFE.

Holy crap buybuy Baby is overwhelming. Eventually I might talk about how I almost lost my crap in a rocking chair in that store, but right now I want to talk about the miracle I found there. I bought the Boppy Slipcovered Total Body Pillow. Yes, I flinched at the $60 price tag but a) it was a pillow for my nest and b) the lure of a reasonable night’s sleep was great. I brought my pricey body pillow home, unpacked it with the speed of a child at Christmas, and then counted down until bedtime so I could use it.  It took a little bit of adjusting and shifting (mostly the rest of my pillow nest, honestly) before I found the sweet spot, layered on my blankets and drifted off.

I still woke up at 4am. My brain has been programed to that time after four years of back pain and I admittedly had a pretty rough night with the nausea, but when I stretched out and put my feet to the floor? I had no back pain. None, zero, zip. I was a little stiff, but I wasn’t in pain. Had to be a fluke, right? I curled up the next night, drifted off, this time sleeping until 5am, and again no pain.

WHERE HAS THIS PILLOW BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?

This may be the single greatest thing I have ever purchased in my life. Every woman needs this, not just pregnant ones. Hell, some men may even need it. This pillow is a miracle! I also just discovered that I can twist it up and sit up in bed with it. Sitting up! In bed! I might actually get to read in bed again! This pillow is a damn miracle. I am never sleeping without it again.

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