Back to Work

I’m back at work today. Maternity leave is over. I walked out of my apartment this morning and left my tiny son in the care of a close family friend and while I know he is safe, loved, and cared for I’m all kinds of a mess. Even if I’m doing a good job of not being one. It’s really weird to go from spending every single day being a mommy to devoting hours to being what you were before you were a mommy. I’ve tried to combat some of the weirdness by dressing a little nicer for work, putting on my makeup, and of course flipping through photos on my phone as I count the hours until I can head home (after a Target detour — our microwave decided to bite it yesterday) and snuggle my little guy.

But even though I am having separation anxiety and just want to go see my baby, I don’t exactly feel guilty about leaving him. That sounds really awful, but I promise it’s not. The big reason for that is because of how I’m going back to work. I changed my schedule so that even though I am going back to work I’m not putting him in daycare. I’m also spreading my work week over the weekends so that I’m with him during the week so very little changes for him except for more quality time with his daddy while I’m at work on the weekends. What I hope from this is that not only does my son get the best of me, but also that it shows him that I’m willing to make changes and sacrifices and work hard to make his life good. I hope to teach him about hard work and working to balance.

…I’m still counting down the seconds until I can get home to snuggle my boy.


Have an Epic 2017

blue typewriter

Gertrude is making a comeback in 2017.

It’s cliche and overwrought now, the idea of telling 2016 to not let the door hit it on the butt as it disappeared into history. It was a hard year no doubt, with the loss of so many familiar and famous faces, an unsettling presidential election, and so much tension worldwide. 2016 wasn’t an entirely bad year, though. I had a couple of significant personal highs, my brother getting married and the birth of my first child being tops of the list for me. But the year is over now and we are just a few days into 2017. I’m not one for resolutions, but for some reason this year it feels important to set a course. My life is dramatically different as I embark on a new year. 2017 Nicole is a very different lady than 2016 Nicole so I’ve taken a couple of days (most of them spent dealing with a fussy, post-shots baby boy) to figure out what direction I want to steer my new year in.

Guys, I’m planning to have an epic 2017.

On Friday I go back to work, but I am in a sense going to a whole new life. My job is amazing and I’ve been able to take on a different job role which in turn gives me a schedule that pretty much lets me be a stay at home mom while still earning a full-time income. This schedule change means my precious baby J is only going to be in childcare one day each week (and right now we’re lucky enough to have a family friend watching him.) It also means that I will actually have the flexibility to pursue some of my creative passions, like writing. Like makeup. Like everything. In 2017 I’m going to be working on my makeup and stylist side gigs, but also combining them with some other pursuits to create a whole image service. I’m also going to be working a bit with Rebecca Lassiter Photography and I am so excited about it. Rebecca took baby J’s first photos and I am obsessed with her work. I can’t wait to see where my creative pursuits take me.

I’m also focusing on my health and well-being this year. Last year was the year of finding out what was going on with myself emotionally and while mental health is always a work in progress I enter 2017 knowing my diagnosis and having a coping plan. What I need to focus on now is my body. Having a baby is hard! Being a mommy after the difficult physical process of birth is almost as taxing. I’ve already lost weight since having the baby, but I want to get myself to a healthy body weight. I’ve started doing Weight Watchers to help me towards my end goal of being literally half my size. It’s not about looking good (though I feel like I will be happier with my appearance) it’s about having my body in the best shape possible as J gets bigger and gives me a run for my money.

And speaking of money…I’m definitely trying to be more financially responsible this year. Expect to see more of my Target exploits, still unsupervised but perhaps a little more savvy. I have killer Target Style. Now I just want to do it on even more of a budget, which of course makes it even more awesome.

2017’s going to be awesome. It’s going to be epic.

What are your plans for 2017?